I AM MY DREAM

I believe 

"My dream is who I am"

The reason for me being born into this world is 
Because of my dream
I want to keep believing that
Because for me
I only have that dream exists inside me
Before I realize it 
I was only an empty human
I keep asking myself why I was born into this world？
For what reason I keep living in this world?
Are there anything can I do?
I am not smart as my sisters
I am not good in study 
I am too naive
I am... nothing
I was totally lost my hope back then
I feel like I am just a burden 
I wish I could just disappear from this world
But...
When I was in Form 3
Something had changed
I feel like my hope has come back to me
I watched an anime about patissiere
And I saw a real patissier named Sadaharu Aoki
I remembered he said that he loves to see people smile when eating his sweets
That was the very first time
I fell in love with sweets
I swear I am going to be a patissiere just like him
A patissiere that can makes people put a smile on their face
It's just like a magic 
A magic which can make people feel the happiness
Thank you so much for being here in my life

VARIOUS OF FEELINGS

Since the day I was born into this world
I learned various feelings that exist in human's heart
Every time
When I look up to the sky
I feel so calm
My heart starts telling me
Thank god I was born into this world
I just love this world
No matter what happens 
I need to protect this world
because I love it so much
Thank you for let me through this life
I have learn a lot of things to be human
I also have feel a lot of feelings 
The feelings of happy, sadness, love, hate and many more 
These feelings are the prove for me being human
That's why I want to protect these feelings
So that it can proves that I once being human
Thank you for everything...

V's Day

Yesterday was V's day

I saw there was many couple celebrate it

Sometimes I wonder what if I got a bf

Will I go through the same happiness with them

Quite jealous when they getting V's present

It quite embarrassed to say that but I do feel like getting a bf

Well,

Maybe the time hasn't arrived

Let's wait for next year

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Home alone with Cody

That's how I celebrated V's day 

But I'm so grateful to be by his side

I couldn't imagine my life without him

I always prayed that he will be always by my side no matter what happened

I want to protect him no matter what

If there are any harmful things

Please let it happens to me

Don't touch him even a single fur

Simple . Difficult

Am I going to feel the pain again?
Somehow the pain has been used to me
Although its hurt...hurt..hurt...hurt...
Having a dream which is doesn't recognize by someone is tired
It feels like a burden on my shoulder
I wish I could do whatever I want
I also want to be like someone else out there
Study the course they like
Be what they want to be
It sounds so simple
But for me 
Difficult
Everyday I think about this
I could not stop thinking
When I want to stop
It just appeared in my mind 
I couldn't forget about it
I asked myself
What if I just let go of this dream?
When I do
My heart couldn't accept it
It felt even worse
I want to continue my dream 
I must to do it
If not 
I will regret forever until I die

FEEL, WISH, HOPE

I have said before that I care of people around me
When they are sad, sick, or anything cause them to be in pain
I will definitely ask myself
Why not me the one who in pain?
I can't see people around me sad
When I see
I hope that I can feel of what they feel
That's why 
Everytime I prayed that I could "go" first before them
Because it is too pain to see my family sad
I really care of them
People might think I'm crazy when they read this
But,
It's okay
As long they happy 
I treasure them more than anything
I don't want any of them leave me
If they leave me
I will be the saddest person in the world
I want to protect them
But I just don't know how
I want them to stay with me forever
But ours time have limit
I had went through the feeling of losing 
That's why I don't want to feel the feeling anymore
When I lose something that important in my life
My heart will feel the strongest pain ever
My tears will be hard to stop
But when it stops
Once again,
It will flows non stop
Can I be the first person who waiting at "there"?
I have said this sentence many many times
Because
This is my wish
No matter how long the time passed
My wish will still be the same

2016

2016
A new year
I am wondering what will happen in this year
Will it be a good thing or bad 
2015 has passed
2016 has arrived
This year will be a better life
In this 2016 
I found myself getting stronger
I believe my life will be getting better
2015's story has finished
A new story begins
A new me should be created
I need to make a change in myself
I want to keep living in this world
Until my time has comes to limit
I want to see this world turns more beautiful
I will stay until I see you
I promise...

SLOWLY

I think I like my life now

I believe my dreams will come true

I just believe it 

I'm working on it

I want to make it come true

I have said these words so many times

Now I am also doing the things I like to do

Its kinda funny

because one of the things I like to do is working at a small shopping centre

I am slowly improving myself

I believe I could achieve my real target one day

I believe the day will come very soon

Some people maybe think that I am idiot or naive

But for me

I am glad that I am myself

I am glad that I am alive

I am glad that I am living in this world