DON'T BELIEVE IN SOMEONE EASILY

I shouldn't have believe in someone easily
I thought she is the only one
Who understands me well
But it looks like she doesn't believed in me
She just like everybody else
I feel like I shouldn't believe in someone
No matter what happened
Everything was fake
Even people who are nearest to you will betray you
I know I have no talent
No matter how much I want them to trust me
There is no use
From I was kid
No matter what I am doing
I still couldn't catch my sisters
I wonder why I am so diferent from them
This question had been in my head since I was in primary school
Until now I still haven't got the answer
I have tried a lot of things of my sisters doing
I tried to become like them so that my mom could treat me like the way she treats my sisters
I am such a failure
I know I shouldn't give them burdens anymore
I have tried to end my life
But I am so scared
I feel like if I gone now 
I would miss something big that would happens in my life
I don't know if that big thing is my dream
but the only thing I know is 
I shouldn't miss it
I know this is kind of made up story
But I really do feel this way
Every words shown are come from my true feelings
I am not good in expressing myself that's why my blog is the only place I can take my feelings out