STOP MYSELF TO BELIEVE

I wish I know how to stop myself from believing somebody
Just like they said
"You may be deceived if you trust somebody too much."
Somehow,
I feel relieved when people don't trust me
Maybe it mixed with a bit sadness
But that's fine
Because I scared they will be disappointed
No matter what I do
I will end up to disappoint them
I rather not to do anything instead make them feel sad
Like this, I could protect their heart
But if I can be selfish for once more time
I wish they can believe in me just for this time
After that, they can choose not to believe in me ever again
I don't know whether miracle like this can happen in my life pr not
But I hope I can see it happened

*(Every time when I see the sky I feel peaceful, it feels like the sky almost take me with them. I really love that feeling.)*