BACK TO CHILDHOOD

Back to Childhood memory
When I think back of my childhood
I feel so nostalgic
Time does fly huh
Absolutely
Childhood is better than grown up life
I realize there is no way to have the thing I have lost during my childhood day
Maybe being a kid I don't have to worry about other things
But as I say
Time does fly away
After you lost your childhood
You will never get it back
Every childhood does contains happiness and sadness
But they forget about it very quickly
Even my childhood also the same

"KOKORO"

恋って
Is the most complicated thing to understand
今の気持ち
Really hard to find out
どうする?
I wanted to make my feeling clear
でも
I afraid I will make a wrong choice
いつも
Everytime I think of this my heart feels heavy
なぜだろう?
I wonder when it will be clear?
分からない
I had cleared this feeling from my heart before
でも
It came back after a while
以前
I thought I would let this feeling go and take another path
やっぱりだめなんだ
この気持ち消さないよ
辛いです
何であたしは普通のに恋だめなの?
やっぱり諦めないですよ,この心
なぜですか?

WHEN STRANGERS BECOME FAMILY

Finally I have feel the feelings where strangers become like a family

I have found a place where I can become own myself without concerning other people thought

I never regret meeting with you guys

How I wish I could stop the time when we are together

So, 

This is how it feels when you are truly love your friends

I think I really love you guys 

Thank you for being my friends

I Love You Guys So Much!!!

HUMAN

In this blog, I can express many kind of feelings in my heart

I guess I really not suit being in this world

I feel like I don't belong to this world

Being alone is the worst thing in my life

I hate being alone

But the people around me just don't understand the feelings for being alone

I always hoped that I could bear my life until the end

But now I really don't know how to stay alive

Maybe some people said the right thing

"Human is always alone. They just need to take care of themself instead take care of other people. Maybe because human is the cruelest creature in the world that's why they got to receive punishment from GOD to being alone all the time."

Human world does complicated

There are many kind of feelings that stay in human's heart

Such as hatred, jelousy, inhuman, and so on...

I feel that human would never be loyalty to other human

They just care of themselves

I wish I will never be a human again in my next life

In the end, human stills going to be alone

MY TREASURE

Spending my holiday with my baby boy
I love you so much baby boy
In future,
I hope that I will be the one who gone first before you so that I could take care of you after you're gone
Since you stepped into my life,
My life has became more better and better...
My loneliness has gone...
My life became more colorful...
And you're one of the reasons for me to keep living...
I love you more than anyone...
I LOVE YOU!
Let's create more and more sweet memories from now...
I will protect you no matter what happens...
For now, future, and forever...

REALITY IS ALWAYS CRUEL

I don't think I can survive with this life
Why can't I just enter the other reality?
Why must I face the reality I hate?
Yeah, people say that our reality is always opposites with the reality we wanted
"Reality is always cruel"
Now I believe that
I wish I have a "short-cut" path to walk by
No matter how long the time I take
I just couldn't fall in love with my subjects which I was force to take
"How I wish someone could tell me to do anything I like"
I am just a normal girl
Why can't I choose my future?
It hurts...my heart feels like dying
Really...hurts...
It's the same pain as the day I lost my dreams
I don't know how to continue my life

TIME PASSES

Time passes
But I still don't know what am I doing
I do nothing 
Everytime I think about my future
I see only darkness
I have no faith at all
I believe that humans only live alone
They also only live for themselves
Not to rely on each other is the best choice for humans live happily ever after
Why God don't just give us a happy life?
Isn't that much easier to carry on his jobs?
Yet
If they are too rely on each other
Maybe someday they will betray you
Isn't it much much hurt?
That's why don't get hurt...
Always think that yourself is the only person you need
For me
That's enough for now
I don't know whether my thinking will be change or not
But I know if my thinking has changed in future
I wish it is you the person who changes me

I HAVE DREAMED

Everytime I think of you
I will ask my self if I can be suit to you?
I always wanted to be with you
But I don't know when I can be by your side
Will you wait for me?
Will you know me?
Will you remember me?
These words are always spinning inside my head
Yesterday I have dreamed about you
Someone told me that 
"Are you really want to be with him?" 
At first I was hesitated to answer the question
But later on
I answered without thinking
"It's Okay, everything gonna be alright...because I love him..."
After that I recalled back about why did I hesitate to answer the question just now?
And I found the reason
The reason is because I worried that I couldn't be a person that suit to you
It feels like a wonderful dream for me
But I wonder who is the person that asking me?

"LIFE IS SHORT, THAT'S WHY I CHERISH IT"

Is it wrong for having dreams?
Is it wrong for realizing dreams?
Is it wrong for making dreams come true?
Maybe it is because I'm not strong enough to have it
I have lost my dream once
I am not going to lose it again
This time for sure
I will defend it until my limit
You better be ready for it because my limit is no limit
Although I have to leave the house someday
I will still make my dreams come true
I want to be stronger!
No, I must to be stronger!
I will never lose again!
If you dare to touch my dreams again
I will never forgive you
No matter who you are
"This life is short, that's why I want to cherish it"
I want to follow my heart
This time I will never turn again 
I will never shake

5 MONTHS TO GO

Exercise! Exercise! Exercise!
Cannot lose!
Diet! Diet! Diet!
5 months to go until Chinese New Year!
It's hard but cannot give up
I want to be more pretty
GO! GO! GO!
Yes!
Celine Lim!
You can do it!
You must give your best no matter what!
Yosha! Ganbarou! Atashi! Fighto!
My TARGET 50KG!
I will give my best!
No more playing!
No more time!
Be serious!
XDD 

RELEASE ANGER

Exam is coming soon
I don't whether can do it or not
I just hate this Form 6
Study...study...study...
I think I have started hate the books
If not because of my dream going to Japan
And trying to get out from this house
I will never enter Form 6
As I thought
Form 6 really can kills people
But...
Although I really hate form 6
I still need endure
because this is the only way I have
It's really stressful
I want to go for holiday
but I don't dare to go and skip my class
I feel like I'm going crazy with this life
Every time when I'm doing homework 
I'm feel like no hope
Feel like I don't belong to this world
That time I just wished that I could hit the wall
and disappear from this world
But I know I couldn't do that
If I do I may regret for the rest of my life
Because my dream haven't come true

UNFORGETABLE MEMORY

 

You...
Didn't realize that I have changed don't you?
It's okay...
Because I also don't want you to know
Do you know why I change my attitude towards you?
It's because...
3 years ago, when I bought my dog and you found out about it
You called on my phone and straightly scolded me without asking anything
That time,
Maybe my heart had hurt a little
After that,
You asked me "why did you buy that dog?"
At the moment I feel scared but I still talk to you
Because I know if I don't said it now I won't have a chance anymore
I answered you "because you left me at home every time and I'm alone"
And I thought you will realize my loneliness and my life would be better after that
But you...replied me
"All the parents are the same! Every children are like this!" 
Then you ended the conversation
At that time,
I was in shocked and my tears could not stop flowing
My heart was full of  anger, sadness and heartbroken
Start from the moment I had given up on you
I told myself 
"A person like you won't understand people feelings no matter how long you take."
"For now on I want to live for myself and the people who knows my feelings."
"I don't know why I was born to this world but I know it's definitely not for you"
And it's enough for me to have Cody by my side
He is the only treasure I appreciate the most
Thank you GOD for giving me such a wonderful present to me
 (What do you expect of a 15 years old girl to have a feeling like this?)
I could feel that this memory will never be erased from my head forever